The Four Month Itch

Last night I did something that I have never done before in my life. My usual over-analytic self-consciousness was put aside when I was out having causal Tuesday night drinks with a friend of mine. As the cocktails magically kept disappearing from our glasses I noticed how this guy sitting by the table next to ours kept glancing over at me smiling modestly, but in a suggestive way. Driven by the four month itch and lack of personal romantic life, I ignored my usual low self-esteem and went over to the guy, introduced myself and gave him my phone number. Short and sweet. At the time I imagined it as a very sleek and confident approach, the reality dawned on me today in retrospect; I was four pitchers down and could hardly keep my balance in my dandy shoes.

What happens now is crucial, I could find this a very liberating confidence boost if he does text me, but if he doesn’t I will have to consider celibacy. It’s not like I really fancy him, rather it’s about finding out how (or rather, if) the whole dating thing works in real life. If he was this amazingly unattainable person I would accept defeat and not even bother, but if I can’t even charm someone in my own league what other options are there? What if he doesn’t text me? Or worse, what if he rings and I have to face an actual conversation? I reckon I should give him 72 hours before I’ll die of sheer embarrassment. Please ensure that the terms ‘disastrous’ and ‘mortified’ are included in the obituary.