The Break-Up Rules 2008

I recently found a note pad where I had written down, with the help of some friends, 15 crucial rules to abide after a break-up. Following these will make you feel better.

1. Only leave the house if you look perfect!
2. Make a fabulous sandwich
3. Make flags for Eurovision (this can be altered according to season. For instance, Christmas decoration, Halloween pumpkins etc)
4. Enjoy things your previous partner hated, for instance smoking.
5. Watch a tragic film that puts your life into a different perspective (I recommend The Colour Purple)
6. Have some wine and spliff and convince yourself how amazing you are
7. Just think, years ago you were the best sperm out of millions
8. Tell your wife she’s got a big ass (Endearing insults to someone close to you lets he/she know you care)
9. Catch up with domestic work
10. Watch Peep Show
11. Remember how good the sandwich was
12. Catch up on soaps
13. Eat a fancy pizza
14. Have more wine and spliff
15. Take a break from flag-making